Improve your homeschooling by improving your thinking

We all have situations that we need to vent about occasionally. But that’s not the same thing as chronic, habitual negativity about yourself and your ability to homeschool. That kind of negativity do you and your homeschooling no good. In fact, if you want to improve your homeschooling, do it by improving your thinking.  Because that one thing will help.

So, I’ll give you tips on how to do that with examples.

But first, let me blow your mind with this thought…What if instead of constantly mulling over what you fall short of and what you ‘can’t’ do, you thought of what kind of homeschool mom you wanted to be?  Marinate on that thought for a minute.

Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf tells us

You can’t control events and circumstances, but you can learn to manage your mind which [leads to] your responses.

If you struggle regularly with negative thoughts about yourself and your role as a homeschool mom,  you’ll be happy to know that it doesn’t have to be that way.  In fact, keep reading for a few things you can do to help.

Not that you can’t ever be authentic about how you’re feeling.  But rather than focusing on how bad you’re doing, take some journaling time to work through this question: What kind of homeschool mom do you want to be?

If you have trouble feeling hopeless when you sit down to journal, this is the perfect time to go to 2 Cor 10:5b about taking your negative thoughts “captive.”

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.

Are you a daughter of the King of kings? Has He told you in His word that with Him, nothing is impossible?

Yes, and yes.

So, you can learn to get off that hamster wheel and can learn to habitually think more positively.

And I don’t want you to “suffer through” homeschooling. I want you to be wildly successful!

So realize that your thoughts influence everything.

Related Post: How to Teach Your Children to Believe in Themselves

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Here’s a picture of Improving your thinking
• Life is Hard
• Renewing Your Mind = Improving Your Thoughts
• How Do Negative Thoughts about Homeschooling Affect Your Homeschooling?
• Listen to this!
• Scripture is Backed by Science.
• How to Change the Narrative
• Other Examples of Improving Your Thinking
• You can Learn to Improve Your Thinking and Your Homeschooling, So Tell Yourself That.
• Speak Lifegiving Words to Yourself
• Bible Verses that Will Help You Improve Your Thinking (and Improve Your Homeschooling)
• What are the Benefits of Improving Your Thinking to Improve Your Homeschooling?

 

Here’s a picture of improving your thinking.

I know that sounds idealistic if you’ve never heard about the relationship between what we think and what we do.  But it makes sense when you think about it!

Let me show you what I mean about how your thinking affects your actions and results.

Scenario #1

A mom of young kids was in a car accident.  It was drizzling rain, and she was pushing the speed limit to get to the grocery store and back before her hubby left for work so she could leave the kids at home instead of taking them. (If you’ve taken a toddler(s) to the store, you know why she wanted to go by herself.)  A traffic light was about to change, and she thought she could make it, but she turned a little too quickly and slid off the road and into a ditch.  Gratefully, she was okay.  But these were her thoughts:

• GREAT. What a mess. Now my whole morning is ruined. Why does this stuff always happen to me?! I have the worst luck ever!

How would you guess she felt?  Mad. Frustrated. Angry at God. And how do you think the rest of the day went for her (and anyone around her)?  Probably not very well, right?

Scenario #2

A mom of littles was in a car accident.  It was drizzling rain, and she was rushing to get to the grocery store and back before her hubby left for work so she could leave the kids at home instead of taking them. A traffic light was about to change, and she thought she could make it, but she turned a little too quickly and slid off the road and into a ditch.  Gratefully, she was okay.  These were her thoughts:

• GREAT. What a mess. Now my whole morning is ruined. But — I’m so thankful the kids weren’t with me!  That was terrifying, but I’m okay! Thank You, Lord, that nothing worse happened and I didn’t cause anyone else to have an accident in my rush to get to the store. This is a pain in the neck, but it could have been so.much.worse.

So, as a result of her thoughts, what was she feeling?  Upset but grateful. Happy. Fortunate. Blessed. Do you think she got home and hugged her kids? Of course, she did!

The situation was exactly the same, yet while the first woman gave in to her emotions, the second woman chose to think of the positives in this situation.  Consequently,  instead of only feeling disappointed that the event happened,  the second woman could also be grateful.

It wasn’t the situation that caused the first mom’s feelings. It was what she told herself about it.

We’re only human, but we can improve our homeschooling results by improving our thinking.

Yes, these things are not convenient when they happen, and we are only human. But since we believe in God’s Sovereignty, we are equipped to roll with the punches.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

I know that my first reaction would be, My husband will kill me for messing up the car.  But I can intentionally choose also to think, but it could have been so much worse.  Choose to be grateful.  If this is a struggle for you, let me encourage you that it was (and is) a struggle for me, too.

But as I work at practicing this, I’m learning to level up the quality of my thinking.  And you can, too!

The first step is admitting that maybe you could be better at choosing to be positive.

Here’s a fact:

Life is hard.

We all know that life deals us hard blows sometimes. No one in life is free from pain, illness, loss of loved ones, and difficult challenges. We all have to deal with suffering. No one is exempt. So we must remember God’s promise that He is Sovereign and ultimately uses our trials for our good, growing us in the process.

But if we know this, why do we so often live as though we don’t? (And I say “we” because I’m including myself here!)

Disclaimer–please know that the last thing I want to do is heap coals on your head if you are in or still recovering from a heavy trial.  If that’s the case, I’m so sorry for your struggle. Please read this another time.  There are times in life when we do good just to breathe.

If that’s not you at the moment, please keep reading.

Renewing your mind = improving your thoughts

We often don’t see the positive in things… because we’re human!

And the enemy is throwing negativity at us from morning to night. And if we don’t know how to fight this, we let him do it.  We don’t recognize that we are taught in Scripture to think biblically.

As I’ve been saying, we can learn to identify and change our negative thoughts into more positive, biblical ones. But it takes first recognizing these negative thoughts, then practicing thinking differently.

And it does take work!

Read these verses to help you get started:

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…Romans 12:2a

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ… 2 Cor 10:5

What you have learned and reecived and heard and seen in me –practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you… Phil 4:9

So how do negative thoughts about you and your homeschooling affect your homeschooling?

So let’s apply this to our homeschooling.

I bet as you’ve transitioned to homeschooling from any kind of break,  you’ve had many conversations with yourself. I know it’s worse at the beginning of your homeschooling adventure, but even if you’re a seasoned homeschool mom, I bet you still struggle at times with self-defeating thinking. 

You’ve made a list (at least in your head) of the things you’d like to improve this year or semester. Of the areas where you’ve “fallen short.”

• I’m not very organized. I need to be better organized this year.
• I have trouble sticking to my schedule. I make a plan and never stick to it. This year will be different.
• I let my kids push me around. They are so strong-willed, and I get tired of the constant battle, so I give in. But this year, I’m not going to do that.

Can you relate?

I remember thinking all of those things at one time or another during my homeschooling years! No matter what it looked like on the outside, when I began homeschooling, I often felt like I was pretty much incapable of actually teaching my kids. I frequently felt that I was failing my kids. Can you relate?

And I know from experience these negative thoughts just lead only to a downward spiral of shame and defeat. 

And often, it wasn’t even true!

Listen to this!

God is telling us in this verse not to trust our thoughts if they don’t align with His word! The truth is, we can’t trust our thoughts. The enemy wants to keep us from feeling joy because he knows that

The enemy wants to trap us in this negative thinking, relying on our own short-sighted, negative, ungodly thoughts.

• Just like he did with Eve when he convinced her she wanted to eat that apple.
• Just like he did with Cain when he fanned the flame of Cain’s anger, so he ended up killing his brother, Abel.
• Just like he did with Sarah when he prompted her to ask her husband to sleep with Hagar instead of waiting for God to give her the child He promised.

And as is so often the case, Scripture is backed up by science.

Brain research shows us that what you say/think/ponder about yourself leads to fulfilling the exact behavior. Your brain actually works to make your words true.  So if you are telling yourself you’re always bad at something, guess what happens?  

 

 

Let’s look at those initial bulleted thoughts you read a minute ago. They are in bold type below.

And they’re followed by the actions you’ll most likely perpetuate based on your thoughts and beliefs.  You think:

• I’m not very organized. (So you’ll continue to have problems with organization.)
• I make a plan and never stick to it. (So you’ll continue to make plans and not stick with them.)
• I let my kids push me around. They are so strong-willed, and I get tired of the constant battle, so I give in. (So you’ll continue battling your children’s poor behavior.)

Unfortunately, telling yourself that “this next semester will be different” doesn’t do much for you unless you change how you approach this.

It’s a predictable and proven cycle:

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But what do you do to fix this?  Keep reading to learn how to think differently. You can learn it, but it takes repeated effort and practice.

How to change the narrative

Again — start answering this question: What kind of homeschool mom do you want to be?

Old thought: I’m not very organized

• New thoughts: I want to be someone who’s organized. I just don’t know how to be organized YET, but I can learn.
• New feeling: There’s hope that I COULD be someone who’s organized.
• New action: Rather than being defeated before you start, with this new thought, your BRAIN works at tuning you into people, articles, blog posts, and podcasts that model or teach better organization skills. You have more motivation to learn to be organized because you are hopeful that you can succeed at this.
• Verse: Teach us to number our days so that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
  • Note that the word “number,” according to Strong’s,  can be translated to count, reckon, number, assign, tell, appoint, or prepare)

Here are two other examples of improving your thinking:

Old thought: I make a plan and never stick to it.

• New thoughts: I want to be someone who makes a plan and sticks to it. I don’t know how to do that YET, but I can learn if I’m willing to work until I figure it out.  
• New feeling: I hope to learn to make a plan and stick to it.
• New action: Your BRAIN starts giving you ideas about how to move forward. You’re motivated. You want to make and stick to a plan.
• Verse: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and a right (steadfast) spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Old thought: I let my kids push me around because I’m tired and always give in.

• New thoughts: I want to be someone who doesn’t let her kids push her around. I want to give instructions and have my children listen and obey me.
• New feeling: I’m determined to figure this out and get help to learn how to train my children better to listen and get their work done.
• New action: Your BRAIN gives you a vision of what homeschooling could be like with you in the driver’s seat instead of your kids. That will motivate you to get the help you need to make this happen.* (Although this issue often needs the support of others in prayer, modeling how they accomplish this, or even a coach/professional to walk with you through the learning and practice of learning to train your kids more effectively.)
• Verses: Train up a Child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6
  • Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.  Proverbs 29:17
  • Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching, show integrity, dignity, and sound speech…  Titus 2: 7-8a

Of course, sometimes there are more serious issues with your children that require the intervention of a professional, such as an occupational therapist for sensory issues, a counselor, or a therapist for anxiety, depression, or anger issues. If you think this might be the case with your family, check with your child’s Primary Care Provider to see who might be best to help you and/or your child. 

You can learn to improve your thinking and your homeschooling, so tell yourself that.

Write it down every day.  Substitute new thoughts for the old ones, and write those down every day in your homeschooling plans for the day.

Don’t blow this off!  TRY IT.

Even if you feel as though you’ve tried before and failed. You just might need some help from someone who can mentor you or help your child somehow. And that’s perfectly fine!

There’s no shame in meeting the morning on your knees and praying for yourself and your kids. And there’s no shame in asking for help if you need it. Do it; don’t wait.

Speak lifegiving words to yourself

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

There is no condemnation in Christ. So if you believe that, you must frequently tell yourself that you do.

You try so hard to bring your kids’ homeschool education to life and have a happy, thriving home. But you have to start with yourself.  You can do this, but it might take hard work and practice. I believe in you!

It’s so much easier to speak life-giving words to your kids and others than to speak them to yourself, right?

But I guarantee you will feel more positive and hopeful if you habitually speak more positively to yourself. And if you feel more positive and hopeful, you’ll be more joyful, less fearful, and more at peace.

 

Again, this reminds me of Romans 12:2:

 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 

If your mind is telling you anything that stands against the fact that we are beloved daughters of the King of kings, you need to renew your mind through God’s word!  So meditate on the verses below by writing, journaling, and memorizing them. If there are verses that especially speak to you, consider looking them up in their original language(s). Then rewrite them using expanded meanings. I love the Blue Letter Bible app for that! You can get it in the iPhone App Store or get access to the site on blueletterbible.org.  

Bible verses that will help you improve your thinking (and therefore, improve your homeschooling)

Speak these verses to yourself. Memorize those that especially speak to you. Choose one or more and have them pop up on your phone at strategic times in your day. (iPhones can do that through the “Reminders” app; I’d also think Android phones would have a way of doing that.)

1. My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Psalm 121:2
2. Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10a
3. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
4. Anxiety weighs down the heart of a man, but a good word cheers it up. Proverbs 12:25
5. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might,  He increases strength. Isaiah 40:29
6. I know that You can do all things and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Job 42:2
7. Ah, Sovereign LORD, You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You. Jeremiah 32:17
8. And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
9. Casting all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7
10. For You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Psalm 71:5
11. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
12. But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
13. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
14. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD! Psalm 31:24
15. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

What are the benefits of improving your thinking to improve your homeschooling?

• You will be happier and calmer if you feel more hopeful about yourself and your abilities.
• Your brain will automatically tune into articles, podcasts, other’s conversations, etc., and give you ideas for solving the issues you’re facing.
• If you’re happier and calmer, you’ll be a more relaxed, confident teacher and give your kids more confidence in you as their teacher. (And you’ll just be more fun to be around!)
• You won’t be afraid to try new things or experiment with new ways of teaching your kids.
• You’ll be less SELF-focused and more child-focused (in a good way).
• If you believe more in yourself, you’ll be more apt to speak more positively to your children.
• If your thinking buoys you up instead of dragging you down, you’ll have more energy and enthusiasm for homeschooling.
• Being more confident in your abilities goes a long way in helping you to learn along with your children when necessary.

So would you like to learn the secret to having a happier, more peaceful homeschooling experience? Then learn how to improve your thinking.

If you have other friends struggling with negative thoughts about themselves and their homeschooling (and I know you do!), please use the sharing buttons beneath my signature and share this post!

 

A thousand thanks!